I'll openly admit it here. i'm very much a NEET and a landlord. but i refuse to openly contribute to society and i'll stay a parasite untill the day we as a society decide to move towards a better system.
there is very much no point at all in trying to work and pay taxes towards a government and participating in an economic system whose very goal is to consume you.
some might ask what i'm doing to change that and the answer is jackshit. the average person does not see the necesity to remove the chains imposed on them by the systems that dominate us, every single
attemp at a revolution has failed under that weight. why would someone who still believes their goal of a dignified life is possible ruin that by jumping into the gamble of anything besides what we already have
even though what we have is extremly self destructive. the planet is already fucked, in the next decade its not a longer a these regions may be uninhabitable. its a these regions will be uninhabitable and by our collective passivity we have allowed the death sentence of our future to be set in stone by a bunch of men who will be dead by the time we face pure hell on earth all while they amass so much money and capital that elected officials cant do shit about them. Its a clown fiesta and the rodeo clown rode us into the mud. we are way past the space of small change. we regular citizens could all go 0 emissions and Exxon alone will still fuck our enviroment beyond fucking recogniziion and just get a fucking fine that is barely a percentage of their profit. the collective fear of diminishing a corporations profits is fucking disgraceful. we are made to carry all the burden with crumbles as a reward. so yes i will take my chance to profit from people who dont deserve being profited from. just for the chance of them radicalizing in any sort of way. if that puts my neck on a noose either way it would be doing me a fucking favor. we have been fucked and blamed for it and seemingly choosed to do nothing significant about it. the system cant be changed from the inside it can only be removed
I kinda gave up on Megaman Battlenetwork 4 i stand by my opinion of things being improved but the layout of the game is so goddamn dull. exploring the net should not be such a fucking hassle.
i'm not doing the best mentally but i'm trying to improved, days getting hotter and its pretty clear we are fucked for longer than our lifespans and we have to trust a bunch of people that do not fucking care about us
life is a hellish nightmare and as regular person there is nothing we are willing to do because we are past the time of open revolution. the people in power clearly do not care and the people we voted into office are trapped by the trappings of the systems we are forced to live in. there isnt much I can do as an individual besides waiting for things to happen but we are past the point of no return already. I know people believe life is suffering and christianity believes suffering is good for the soul. but suffering is not neccesary. if anything suffering is a bad thing to maintain or even feed. we should all create an enviroment where our suffering doesnt come from the passive act of being alive. a group of bills you cant possibly pay with your job that pays like shit doesnt help anybody and it just keeps getting fucking worse. sometimes it feels like death is a better alternative to this hell cycle. but we must accept it should not be our own but the death of the ones guilty for sustaining our situation. we all agree on who is guilty regardless of political affiliation but we have been mentally cuckolded into not being able to trust our fellow man by those who caused it. like do you really think all of this enmity between people of the same social class is something natural and not fabricated by the assholes who control not almost all. All of the media we consume. like dont you find it odd that everytime an external social media becomes big. the US Senate tries to ban it? even though facebook does the same if not worse? like really which one of the american companies actually track our eye movements for that to be something a senator who is basically a ludite would ask about. they have briefing that tell them how shit works. its a fucking nightmare and all of it needs to be cleansed by the hands of the many. i do not care what system rises from the death of this one but I hope we arent mentally fucked enough to do capitalism again
I'm back in a depressive hole and there isnt much i can do. updating this website is everything i do of substance. i cant maintain a job and i dont know if its because i'm weak as an individual or my mental health wont allow me to. but i cant last over 6 months in the same place before feeling like i should take action on ending my contract with being alive. i dont bring much to the table at all and often feels like i'm alive only as a favor to my mother and sister who would be devastated if i did take action. it sucks, i've been trying to plan stuff to get myself to do stuff that would help more people besides myself but everything is too slow. i've been waiting almost 2 years to be able to cash a fucking check to buy the stuff i need to start moving foward but it feels like that day will never come. next month i'm buying another shitty laptop but at least the new one should be able to run more than chrome without trying to set itself on fire. it hasnt even been a rough month but it just feels like nothing i try to set in motion manages to move more than step before being crushed by everything around me. i dont even have a bed anymore.
I've been continuing to play megaman battle network 4, and overal its an improvement to 3 in everyway. the smaller navi sprite allows them to make the net feels bigger, the net feels larger even though convoluted and more interconnected ,the battlesystem even though it forces your hand is smoother than in 3 and the story even though thematically worse than 3s is better adapted into a video game. But thats where it all ends. the tournament while great has battles that just feel unfun. like i can only handle a navi summoning fanfare so many times before i feel like turning off the game. the main story forces you to interact with minigames that while alright should be optional not part of the main thing and it just keeps forcing you to explore the net rather than it being an organic part of the game like in previous installments. some of the enemies are just tedious to fight and the game is awfull about giving you battlechips. like certain chip codes are story locked for some goddamn reason. I've never though 3 was the best megaman battle network game. but after playing 4 i can see why so many think 3 is the best. 4 is just such a massive downgrade in the main game cycle that it makes it hard not to look back and think 3 was the best thing(i do still think 2 was the best megaman battle network game). I'm only playing through all the games because i want to play 4.5 which was a JP exclusive but has a full translation out but i keep needing breaks from it. the game is relentless about having you do more and more stuff to progress the story. every single competitor you fight in the tournaments dont need their own multipart sidequests thats irrelevant to the plot. Like pick what are your stakes for the story and stick to it. i still think the story in 4 is better than in 3 but you have to pry the story from the games hand through a collection of poorly explained challenges. I want to like 4 but the game just seem to want to beat me into submission and continue like its normal. i'd complain about in universe plot points like i did with 3 but 4 seems to be its own thing. i'd consider 3 the end of the first half of megaman battlenetwork and 4 the beginning of a new one.
Started Megaman Battlenetwork 4. picked Red Sun because apparently you can get Roll Soul and Roll is hecking cute, i havent gone so far but while the story is better fed as in things kinda make sense but its bonkers, an Asteroid coming to earth? Vampire Navi?? Ghost Navis??? A GHOST GIRL?!?!?! like this is full on fantasy stuff rather than high science fiction but its ok nothing terrible so far. i gave up on the world learning from previous events, everything still shamelessly connected to the internet. but at least people figured out how to keep their personal pages free from Viruses which is a big step up. the change in artwork is interesting. the character portraits are much better now and overall the colors are more vibrant, but the new net design, Awful its real hard on the eyes all of the curves dont really make for the intuitive spaces the squares from 2 and 3 did, it often feels like there are paths that dont exists because of the way the curves connect. the combat system is also even more forceful than 3 in making you try out stuff, the counter system though kinda garbage.
Just reached the ending after 35 hours of playing it is contrary to most of the game story, really good. like i can see why people would forget the barebones events through the story and only remember the ending. i still enjoyed 2 more. but i can admit the ending blows 2's out of the water. i know 4 wont be as good but i do hope it isnt as bad as i've been led to believe
Still going through the MMBN games finished 2 weeks ago, it was good but it didnt go where i expected it to go, overall it does feel like they learn some lessons from the first game lore wise and the world itself evolves for it. on the Other hand 3 which i started recently(just reached willy's castle) Feels like a whole step back story wise, it is very much an anime adaptation and if you arent watching the equivalent anime season the story will feel disconnected and nonsensical. much of the stages feel as if they where entirely out of place or just forced into being. Lan becomes somehow even stupider and megaman seems to have even less agency than before and the biggest pet peeve for me around it is that it forgets the previous games happened. it seemingly forgets what WWW and Godpel did before, I mean Tanks connected to the internet? using regular netspaces at that? We know they can secure the tank netspaces willy literally does it, we also know they do not need to connect the tanks to the internet they can very much use a local network that would need a physical user to enter it. But no everything is again connected to the network which makes the world as vulnerable as 1. this is supposed to be the best of the whole series. but its a downgrade in everyway except combat and post-game if post-game interests you. I do understand why the story devolved this much though its very much a symptom of becoming tied to the anime. I do appreciate the second P.E.T. which is also the last good P.E.T as all the subsequent P.E.Ts where designed with making toys in mind. there is also a shift from PETs being advanced PDAs to advanced phones. I really wish that for the next game, the world itself allows for evolution, but i do know 4 is reviled as the worst in the series.
I've been playing Meganman Battle Network these days. I just finished the first one and started on the second so some of the changes are fresh in my mind but some of the choices are delightfully showing how the world of the setting matures with the technologies of the world. For example in Chapter 2 they utilize the school server that was connected to every classroom to broadcast mindcontrol stuff to make children into WWW terrorists. but on MMBN2 when you connect to the blackboard. its not part of the school network it uses the local area square instead of a proper network which means that an attack like the one from the first game would be much more complicated as it would require the attacker to connect to every single blackboard instead of just the main server. In chapter 3 where we fight stoneman the Metroline security passes through the network which thanks to the network being reworked in 2 is no longer a possible attack unless the attacker breaks into the Metroline servers. in Chapter 4 they used an attack to the city waterworks as a mask to steal data that SciLab maintained. on MMBN2 the new SciLab is its own thing in a different place so they wouldnt suffer an indirect attack like they also have more physical and technological barriers in place protecting the core so you'd need multiple aprovals in order to do any major changes to the operation, unlike the first one where Dr.Froid alone could do the necesary changes to entirely stop water service. i hope we visit Dencity again just to see if they did any changes to the traffic system to prevent what Colorman did. There are also some quirks of 1 that go away like needing permision from individuals to access sections of the public network. Cant wait to see what else changed in response to stuff that happened in the first game.
This Summer is too hot, can barely think... I started making these huge icecubes to put in front of my fan, It really helps but its not really enough. good grief.
Depression hitting harder than usual lately, probably because i do not have much to do. not much space for jobs with my lacking skillset. i know enough to create in amateur spaces but not enough to make profesional work and i'm not one to inflate this capitalist hellscape we exist in with more amateur laber furthering diminishing the value of profesional work. Like why are there so many fucks in this world who think stuff that look simple like building a deck and pouring concrete is easy, Have they not see the failing infrastructure we exist in because people dont understand how to pour concrete how to balance the liquid levels there is a reason sidewalks fail so often outside spaces dedicated to the rich. Personally i dont know shit about concrete but i'm just using it as an example of something a lot of people seem to think is piss easy. half the time you see someone make a post about how they made their own deck or poured their own concrete, was someone with previous experience with it or with the help of someone with previous experience, which is perfectly ok. but stop pretending is that easy when you used profesional experience. Stop diminishing the labors of others in order to prop up your own content. and it doesnt only go for constructions, coding, painting, writing any skill based endeavour that doesnt require you to go through university for some reason gets dunked on as lesser or easy even though getting to profesional level in it is hard, writing is hard, coding is hard, painting is hard, its all hard. yes its piss easy to start doing it and practice untill you are good, But how long will that take? how long will it take for anyone to get to a level beyond mediocrity? and i dont mean the fake CC shit i mean getting good enough that people identify your work because of its good qualities, like clean code, nice linework, fluid prose. I'm just tired, everything we do needs to be monetized in some way because corporate greed has fucked life beyond reason and just because we are free to chose our slavemaster we pretend we arent slaves.
Honestly it does get to me that the Guest Book goes largely ignored by everyone except by the most important person ;3, but that is part of the charm of running this kind of nostalgia site. no one ever signs guestbooks unless you are a large personality or some important corporation and i'm neither. i'm keeping the guestbook forever and i hope its always like a dusty book full of cobwebs.
I wonder if there is some sort of tool to make this easier, i've been doing everything by hand and it does feel like this wouldnt make much sense for larger sites.
Like some of the most complex layouts seems like they would be hell to HTML/CSS into existing. though most sites also are just the very basic. top bar/main body, side bar/mainbody or a mix of both and uses clever javascript/css to hide that they are just a basic existence. even twitter if you strip the discovery algos and trending tabs is just a more complicated guestbook. it is oversimplifying but it does get you the mental image that besides their physical setup and copyright situation. websites are way easier to clone than we are led to think.
Yesterday i learnt that i dont need to update the site text directly i can use a copy local to my harddrive and update that instead then i guess i overwrite the one on the dashboard? i'm not sure yet i've never been that good at coding HTML as easy as it might be but it is fun learning, i've been trying to convert a character sheet for a tabletopgame to html using only css and html but apparently i'll need some javascript to be able to save the data, i guess i'll just hardcode it with the right data for now and then i'll figure out how i want to do that part. one day i'll make this site actually look good which will probably mean rewriting a whole lot of code bcause i'm pretty sure none of my code is optimal in any shape or form. but for now it works. some stuff is still wonky but i'm having fun. hopefully i'll stop spamming the activity tab now, which i also discovered last night. sorry for all the spam anyone who reads this shit.
I'm 100% sure i broke my CSS somewhere but its working??? so go on site. i hope i dont have to figure out how to fix it because i dont.
I feel like talking about Jaguar Man from Fate/Grand Order. The Jaguar Man is an interesting character as she is a divine spirit but unlike Quetzalcoatl she isnt a full incarnation of the God/Goddess she is a Pseudo Servant or Divided Spirit whichever you like more, a Pseudo Servant is basically when a spirit that would be too powerfull to materialize as a regular servant utilizes a compatible human vessel to incarnate as a servant, in the case of the Jaguar man we arent really told which deity fused with best girl from Fate/Stay Night universe Taiga Fujimura, but i guess in the current Lostbelt in the Japanese version they would cover it since its set in mesoamerica but thats besides the point i'm going towards. we arent really told who Jaguar Man Divine Core is, but we can make an educated guess based on some of Jaguar Man's traits, one she is a Jaguar(cute), two she considers herself a rival to Quetzalcoatl, three she wishes for human sacrifices, fouth she alludes herself as a goddess of the darkness and surprisingly stealthy. which does lead us to an specific god, Tezcatlipoca one of the central deities of the Aztec religion and among some of his traits we have being a rival deity to quetzalcoatl, god of the invisible and darkness, during his celebrations there where human sacrifices(there is more to him but it isnt that relevant to this) and finally he is the god of Jaguar and to double hammer the point he has a Nagual counterpart which is the Jaguar god of the mountain heart Tepēyōllōtl. this would explain why Jaguar man even though she is a divided spirit with someone who should be as powerful as quetzalcoatl is only a 3 star servant with a disparate skillset. she is a Nagual which is a form of disguise(oversimplyfying) that turns the central deity into just a Mountain God. I also do not believe Jaguar Man uses her full potential at all or even cares to do it as we can really see Taiga is her Dominant Personality and Taiga while extremly talented didnt really dedicate herself to mastering a martial art. she cared more for people at the end of the day. best girl.
also Hanna Machia finally had her 3D Debut(she technically already used the model but this is the proper thing) at all, its kinda sad because she wanted to debut with the other ID members so she rejected the first offer to have a 3D Debut but Niji ID never performed that well even though it really openned the doors for more ID based Vtubers. but being in Nijisanji is kinda thankless.
I figured out how to center images, i'm winning soon i'll figure out how to make a sidebar i'll never use
Today i discovered a new DC speedster called the Accelerated Man i think he is the best pick to just make an
speedster that exists in the nightmare scenario of they are stuck in the speed like everything is too slow for them.
also been stuck three days working on an interior layout for the ulysses(the big submarine from Atlantis the lost empire)
some of the interior shots and moves within the movie make 0 sense considering its possible layout. a friend found a sketch
by one of the movie artists but it still has some problems
the setup of the vehicle bay, the position of the engine room, the cargo bay and the size of the aqua evacs. all dont really make much sense
considering how they behave in the movie. for this to work the Aqua-evacs must be big enough to fit 5 trucks and the Drill(thankfully they made the drill smaller in the movie) and they also must have full access to the back of the sub as thats where they exited through. so we'd need to move the engine room to the cargo bay area. i'm still unsure how to fit the cargo bay but i believe they put all of the cargo inside the aqua-evac units. from this concept
the Ulysses would be able to support a crew ofa little over 120 which is much less than the official sources cite
and the aqua-evac 01(the one that carried the main cast) could only carry around 30 crew members including all the cargo. but without the cargo
it could very well carry the official cited ammount of hundreds. i'm still working on how to fit an actual cargo bay, but the most logical setup for the cargo bay
is the interior of an aqua evac and they using it as an open ramp. I cant find an interior concept design of the aqua evac but from the shots from the movie we can guess the interior setup. its mostly an empty first level with the cargo loaded in and on the second floor where the protrusions are is a seating area arranged kinda like a submarine park ride but with the seats facing inside instead of out. its a nice possible design but there are a couple issues here and there. but nothing as major as the vehicle bay of the Ulysses which would need to entirely flood for the aqua evacs to be able to exit.
I've made some Sketches about what i believe the layout would be i'll upload them when i adquire a computer that isnt a piece of shit.
I really do not understand how this page keeps getting views
i havent shared it or anything i just keep updating it from time to time
maybe there is a list of websites and people keep checking this?
if so why? odd. its not like there is much of value in this site.
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sorry just needed to scream for a while.
Trapped in a house thats not my own, i wake up and there isnt the sound of cats greeting me but a strange dog whose future i'm unsure, got to hang out with my friends tho and that was real nice. i'm not reading enough doujins to have a good doujin of the day but that wont stop me from finding something to list. the new FGO event is real fun Ex Idol outfit grew on me big time.
Too many cats and not enough games to play, still trapped using a shitty computer. at least this personal website thing is helping me stay sane. Friends been busy lately but its only noticeable because i have nothing meaninful to do myself. i'm very proud of them being able to live in the society we are forced to exist in, I cannot do the same.
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